Mother's Day

Mother's Day 2011

So I've been procrastinating yet again in getting anything written.  I don't know if it's my subconscious and fear of grief or laziness or maybe just busy with other things.  But I do know it's not because I don't love and remember my mother, even though she has been physically gone for over 25 years now.

Typically on Mother's Day I would imagine that most "children" bring their Mom gifts, make her a meal or take her out to eat.  While I, personally, did not have a lot of those great memories (my mother passed when I was 16 and still in High School), I know that for many of us this day is a time to remember all those celebrations of Mom.  A while back I had posted on the Mom's Halo Facebook page and asked what others were planning on doing to celebrate their Mom on Mother's Day.  I was going to use the list to share so that perhaps it could give you some ideas on how to work through this often difficult day for those of us who have lost their Mom.  Unfortunately, there wasn't a lot of response (well, the Facebook page is kind of light on members right now) but for those who did respond, this one from Missy stands out:

"I have no trouble remembering her, that's a daily occurrence. I will honor her by CELEBRATING the wonderful person she was and spend HAPPY times with my own children and make some good memories! Hugs to you all!"

Sometimes this can be difficult, I know, especially if the grief is still very new and raw - like within the first year or two after her passing.  Celebrating your mom may mean a few tears but in the end it can be healing and very powerful to share things about her that you may have forgotten.

I don't know how many of you reading this are on Facebook, but over the last week many of my friends have changed their profile picture to either a photo of their mom or one of them with their Mom.  I badly wanted to get a photo of me with Mom, but after looking through a box of old photos, I don't think I have one photo of just her and me.  But I did come across several family photos and it brought back a lot of great memories.  I grew up in a large family, three brothers, two sisters (yes, six kids).  Growing up with 5 siblings was always chaos in the house, but even so, our house was always full of love.

How my Mom managed to do it all I will never know.  She didn't work outside the home until my younger brother (the youngest) started school.  And if anyone who has stayed home to raise children knows, it's a 24 hour, 7 day a week job.  She went back to school and got a good job with the Federal Government.  She was a devout Christian and volunteered at many Christian retreats and church activities.  On Mother's Day I celebrate her strength, her spirit, her love and I would like to share a little bit of her with you:

Mom and Dad on their wedding day.  Mom and Dad were both in the Navy when they met; they met and were married while stationed in Hawaii. My mom and dad were very much in love and were more than just husband and wife - they were best friends.

I love this next pic, because it's a family pic where dad is almost in the photo - that's his shadow at the bottom of him taking our pic.  I'm the 5th child - in this shot, the little girl with her hand over her eye. There's mom holding up my little brother.  We always got all dressed up for Easter.  Mom made many of our clothes, so I'm guessing that the dresses we girls have on were made by her.

This is the photo I selected for my FaceBook page.  Mom reading us a bedtime story.  That's me in the front, my younger brother, Tom, on the left and my older sister, Judi.  Mom, of course is busy reading us a bedtime story.  I think this was a special day because we got to sleep on the floor in our new (very cool) sleeping bags!

When I was 11 years old, Dad retired from the Navy and we moved across the country from Miami, Florida to Reno, Nevada.  We spent a lot of summers on the beach at Lake Tahoe.  Mom was not much of a beach person, but she would bring her writing pad and work on her speeches and writings while we swam and played in the sand.  This photo was probably taken in the late 1970's - maybe a year or so before her passing.  This is how I remember her most, and it's one of my favorite photos of her.  She never wore a swim suit, just rolled up her sleeves and her pant legs to get a little bit of sun - but not much:

I could go on and on about my mom, Lois Ellen Miller.  She did so much for so many people and made an impact on everyone she met.  She was loved by many-- as evident by the mass of people at her funeral (it was literally standing room only in the church).  She was and is very special to me.  Even though I had only 16 short years with her, she truly helped to shape the woman that I am today.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom, today I celebrate you!

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After notes: To those of you missing your mom this Mother's Day (and every day) I hope you find comfort in the warm memories of your Mom to help you through the painful ones.  It's through our memories and the lessons that our Mom taught us that we move forward and grow with each passing day.  Our Moms will forever be a part of us  - in our heart and in our soul.

-Jami Garrison, Daughter of Lois
(\O/) First My Mother, Always My Angel, Forever My Friend