What Good Could Possibly Come From This?
Is there something positive to be gained after motherloss?
When we think about losing a loved one, generally feelings of sadness, depression and other negative emotions come to mind. So is there anything positive to be gained after loss? The answer is "yes." Time and again I hear stories from people who have suffered great personal tragedy talk about how, looking back years later, the experience provided them with personal growth.
Many of you reading this are probably very early in your grief and thinking that the pain is too overwhelming and how can anything good come from it? When you're in the midst of your grief it seems that nothing can pull you out. The world as you knew it changed seemingly overnight, with the loss of your mother. But as each day passes and you work through the rough spots of your grief. You go through grief's early stages of denial, isolation, anger, bargaining and depression. Then one day you find yourself truly accepting the loss and you find hope. You are living, you have grown and you are a changed person because of it.
Many of you reading this are probably very early in your grief and thinking that the pain is too overwhelming and how can anything good come from it? When you're in the midst of your grief it seems that nothing can pull you out. The world as you knew it changed seemingly overnight, with the loss of your mother. But as each day passes and you work through the rough spots of your grief. You go through grief's early stages of denial, isolation, anger, bargaining and depression. Then one day you find yourself truly accepting the loss and you find hope. You are living, you have grown and you are a changed person because of it.
Study after study about loss point to the negative effects like clinical depression, drug abuse, alcohol and mental disorders. But rarely have I read about positive effects from motherloss, especially if you experienced motherloss as a child (18 years and younger). A graduate from Brown University, Gabrielle Frackman, did just that. Having suffered the loss of her mother at the young age of four, Gabrielle was intrigued by this topic and wanted to find out if other women like her had experienced any benefits from the childhood trauma of motherloss. In her own words she writes "I have often wondered how my personal development and interest are related to my mother's death." To answer this question, she conducted a study on the effects of early motherloss on women. To those of us who have been there and know the effects, her findings are not surprising. But to those who are still early in your grief, her findings will give you hope.
I am very pleased to be able to provide you a copy of Gabrielle Frackman's thesis entitled "Maternal Loss and Emotional Intelligence in Women: An Exploration into the Potential Benefits of Childhood Trauma."
Gabrielle wishes to express her sincere thanks to all the women who participated in this project. Without you she could not have done it.
Read Gabrielle Frackman's thesis:
Maternal Loss and Emotional Intelligence in Women: An Exploration into the Potential Benefits of Childhood Trauma
(PDF document, 200kb)
I am very pleased to be able to provide you a copy of Gabrielle Frackman's thesis entitled "Maternal Loss and Emotional Intelligence in Women: An Exploration into the Potential Benefits of Childhood Trauma."
Gabrielle wishes to express her sincere thanks to all the women who participated in this project. Without you she could not have done it.
Read Gabrielle Frackman's thesis:
Maternal Loss and Emotional Intelligence in Women: An Exploration into the Potential Benefits of Childhood Trauma
(PDF document, 200kb)