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Motherless Daughter Through Abandonment

#1 User is offline   WinnieMacMom 

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Posted 19 August 2006 - 05:51 PM

I am 37 years old and have one natural child 2 step children and two more children that live with me, nephews who lost their mother through a car accident. I am married and also have two dogs and a fish.

I haven't spoke to my mother in several years. We just don't agree on things. She lives here in the same town I do and makes no efforts at all. I dont' remember the last time she tried to contact me for any reason. We ran into each other inthe local WAlmart about a year ago and I approached her and asked her how she was doing and was very nice to her and all but that was it. It had been at least a year before that and now has been over a year since. I have a sister also who lives with her but I rarely hear from her either.
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#2 User is offline   swanson 

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  Posted 20 August 2006 - 10:58 PM

Hi,

I do feel for you. It must be so frustrating for you to be so near and yet so far away.

My Mum died very suddenly in January this year and following her funeral some (what I thought were close) members of the family just disappeared into thin air at the time when I needed them more than I've ever needed anyone in my entire life before. Why? Who knows. I don't!

We can't make people love and care for us but the question is, do you want to make things better with your mom? Or have you tried (more than just passing the time of day in a supermarket) and failed? If you really do, then if it were me I would go round to her house and give it my best shot and if that didn't yield any results then I would concentrate my life with the folks who do care.

I hope you can manage to sort something out.

Take care and my thoughts are with you.

Barbara
Daughter of Phyllis
"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear"
Barbara
Daughter of Phyllis
"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear"
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#3 User is offline   Sue's daughter 

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Posted 12 April 2007 - 03:28 PM

I understand both the loss of a mother through abandonment and also through death. My mom abandoned me when I was 15 years old and it took everything I had in me to forgive her for the hurt and suffering she put me through.

She became very ill when I was 19 years old and could no longer care for herself. I decided to put my anger and bitterness aside and care for my dying mother. I took her into my house (yes, I was well on my own with my own house and car and attending college by 18...it's amazing what you're capable of when your thrown into adulthood at such an early age without a choice!) and cared for her for the next 8 months.

Those 8 months were the hardest, most challenging months of my entire life. We still disagreed on many issues but I tried my hardest not to let it get the best of me. We established a bond in those 8 months and when she passed away it was the worst day of my life. Those 8 months, though they were challenging, frustrating and extremely difficult, were the most rewarding days here on earth and I thank God every day for them. It was all so worth it.

Losing a mother to abandonment is terrible hurt and pain. I do understand that. But losing a mother to death is unbelievable agony and lonliness. Please don't let these years slip away. I do not know your mom's health or age but one thing I do know is that mom's don't last forever. Please reconcile with her. You may never see eye to eye and always have disagreements but trust me you will be glad you stuck it out. You will regret all of the years of separation. Let Jesus be your strength because only He truely knows your heart. Trust me, it will be worth it.
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