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Greetings From The Fog The first month

#1 User is offline   SusieQsDaughter 

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Posted 16 December 2012 - 05:54 PM

Greetings members, may I introduce myself as the daughter to a very loving lady My Mom "SusieQ".
Its been a short two weeks since I held her and saw her thru to her imparting time here on earth. The Fog is here and will remain in my mind. I am my mothers 5th child out of seven. Her first daughter and the last person she saw before her last breath. To some it would "appear" that I was blessed to share that moment, for now I cannot be so sure. The lonliness is vast and the fear I have some times is enormous. Imagine a person who is a full grown adult , her caretaker, her best ally, being nothing short of falling to pieces just trying to get thru a day. Since she and I shared a home for 22 years, not a day goes by that I come home, seeking to find her in a chair, smiling and asking the simple question of "How was your day?". Yet that question doesnt come, instead dead silence is here...and with it the pure validation that she is gone. I miss her so very much. I lost a mother, my best friend, my room mate, my confidante. I stumbled here to this site yet I have no doubt my mom played a part. For ya see,she collected and beleived in angels, and when I saw the name of this website...I knew...just knew that someone out there also had a Mom who has wings. And I thank you for creating a site where the angels daughters and children can come to share in this grief and healing.I look forward to being a support for others as we all go on this journey and remembrance.
Teddi Daughter to Marie "SusieQ"- Passing date: 12/04/2012

Our saying....I Love you...(pause)..MORE!
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#2 User is offline   Jami 

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Posted 17 December 2012 - 08:16 AM

((Welcome Teddi))

I am so glad you found us, but very sorry for the reason you are here. Thank you for sharing a piece of your mom's story with us. I cannot imagine the emptiness you are feeling right now. Yes, you are blessed. It is not just the appearance of it - but I understand what you are saying. It's difficult to feel blessed at a time when you're hurting so badly. Every moment we have with our mom is a blessing and a cherished moment. Only two weeks since she passed, and I know the pain is still very fresh. It may be difficult but the best thing to do is to take things day by day, moment by moment. Remember to take care of yourself and don't take on more than you can handle. it's okay to cry and it's certainly okay to talk about your mom. Others around you may not understand and not know how to comfort you during this time. But come here anytime and tell us about your mom, about your feelings, or about anything. We all understand. Our grief may be different and we may be at different points in our grief journey, but we all understand what it means to lose your mom.

warm, welcoming hugs to you,
Jami
Jami,
daughter of Lois (\O/)
"first my mother, always my angel, forever my friend"
http://www.momshalo.org
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#3 User is offline   SusieQsDaughter 

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Posted 17 December 2012 - 03:39 PM

Thank you Jami for the kind welcome. Its in doing that we find answers and comfort. Today has been a somber day and one that is a reprieve from the constant jags of tears. Instead its numbness mixed with confusion. Yet as you say, take it one day and sometimes one moment at a time. No one here asked for a membership to be in a cast of folks who are now without the mother in their life, yet I do know this to be true, we each indeed loved and were loved, and for that we have been blessed.
Teddi Daughter to Marie "SusieQ"- Passing date: 12/04/2012

Our saying....I Love you...(pause)..MORE!
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#4 User is offline   swanson 

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Posted 20 December 2012 - 05:08 AM

Hi Teddi,

So sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. I too found it a blessing to find this site at the time when I most needed someone who understood the emotional rollercoaster I was feeling. I know what you mean about coming home to silence instead of your mom's presence after living together for so long. Every time it's like you are the only person in the world, isn't it?

It's almost 7 years since I lost my mum and I still feel the void she left. Your grief is still so new and raw and you will have up days and down days but, as Jami said, you can only take it one day at a time and make sure you take care of yourself. We're here for you if you need someone to listen. Don't think you have to do this on your own.

And, yes, you really are blessed. Blessed to have had a mother you loved so much and who in turn loved you. She may be gone physically but she will always be with you in your heart and in your memories.

Take care.

Barbara
Barbara
Daughter of Phyllis
"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear"
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#5 User is offline   SusieQsDaughter 

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Posted 24 December 2012 - 09:02 AM

Thank you barbara, So often I "hear" the words spoken yet they have not absorbed into my heart yet that the love is still there. Its that searing pain of heartache. That place that used to be filled with butterflies and outpouring of love is now silent. Will it flourish again? Or is this too part of the grieving and letting go of her from a physical stance. Two things that did aide here on this forum are the "simple" concepts, that during this holiday that peace will be my guide thru this and that I need to be gentle on myself. I pray so much for others that are going thru this difficult time and send my appreciation to those who have gone this path and continue to make the most of what was given to us. My blessings to you and all here.-Teddi

( my little whisper to heaven- Mom, ....I Love you more!!!)
Teddi Daughter to Marie "SusieQ"- Passing date: 12/04/2012

Our saying....I Love you...(pause)..MORE!
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