September 2009 Member Spotlight: Pam, Daughter of Lorene
This month we spotlight someone who you may know as "Llama Momma" from the forums. Pam has been visiting Mom's Halo since her mother passed in February of 2007. When I asked her to write something about her mom, I had no idea how touched I would be by her words. She really speaks from her heart and in reading about her mom, the love and their relationship, I couldn't help but think of how blessed we all are to have had our mom in our lives, no matter how short or long it was. Lorene, Pam's Mom, was truly a special person to have raised such a daughter. Pam offers us all words to live by - read Pam's message and I think you will agree. To Pam - I want to Thank You for sharing your mom with us and your story. Here is her story . . .
The Great Teacher
When asked if I would write something for he Spotlight I was honored. My mom is very important to me, a big part of my everyday life. I set down to write about her and what lead up to her death. But as I was writing I started thinking. I go over that part of her life almost daily in my mind. So I decided to write about who she was to me.
I have tried to write this not once but twice. I’m not a writer at all. But I am a daughter who misses her momma daily. I will never forget February 11, 2007 the day my Momma left me. Or so that is how I felt and still do at times. She was such a remarkable person, I don’t think she ever put herself first. She was always working to pay bills or so that we could have food, and saving so we could have a few extra special things. I never knew just how much I had learned from my mom until I sit back and hear my kids tell me the things I used to tell my mom and wish I would have told her more often.
She was the one person I could always count on no matter what the issue - we were there for each other. Late at night or wee hours of the morning it was never too late or early to call each other if we needed the other one. Family and friends were always important to her, and you always treated others just like you would want to be treated. Now my mom was not perfect (even if I thought so) I know she made mistakes and she said "mistakes was okay" as long as you learned something from them.
I thought I knew how much I counted on my mom but I did not have a clue until she was no longer with me. I don’t know how many times over the past 2 and a half years I knew that if mom was here she would be able to help me. It did not matter what it was about, I knew she would be able to help me. I have since learned to look and lean on other important people in my life and I know she would be proud of me for that. But how I miss her so very much! 42 years is not enough time to have my mom. There was still so much I wanted to learn from her. And as the years go by I’m sure I will look back and realize again how much more I have learned from my momma, even when I didn’t realize there was more for her to teach me.
Be strong, and whatever you are facing face it straight ahead, learn from your mistakes and always: LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH, HOPE AND FAITH -- things to live by.
I could write more and go on and on but what I want you all to hear from this is even though you think "I don’t have my momma anymore," someday, at sometime, you will realize you have more of her then you know. I will always miss my momma and want her back but I just now am starting to realize that I’m still getting to know my mom, understanding what made her who she was.
Thanks Momma for always being there for me (even when you're in Heaven) and for continuing to be a great teacher.
Love,
Pam daughter of Lorene (Momma)